How do you know if your partner is cheating on you, or someone else's partner is cheating on them?
There are lots of hints and clues out there, and lots of recommendations people giving.
But there's only one test that marriage therapists use a lot, that while not foolproof, is one of the best hints to discover if they are or aren't.
In fact, when I first learned it, I couldn't believe how effective it was... until I tried it myself, on my partner.
And what was this test? Well, hold your breath and then keep on reading to learn the secret strategies.
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Lots of the standard suggestions that people use to determine if someone cheating revolve around looking for changes in behavior: has their libido changed? Have they been going out more? Have they been more secretive?
But the one tip that works wonders takes a totally different approach.
And in fact, it doesn't even involve asking them anything nor observing their behavior.
Before I can explain it, I have to explain to you a concept that psychologists have been studying for over one hundred years, and that concept is called "Projection."
What "Projection" means--for psychologists and marriage counselors and family therapists--is that when some is doing something negative, they then accuse other people of doing it.
Do you remember the student in your high school, who you couldn't stand, who acted terribly towards everyone around him, but would then always say that everyone else are the ones acting terribly while he's a sweetheart? Yup, that's projection at work!
So, here's how marriage counselors apply it here. Instead of asking the partner any question or observing their behavior, they just see if they ask you one thing:
Do they accuse their partner of cheating?
Here's the secret: all the time, people who are cheating feel an extreme need to project, so they then accuse their partners of being the one who is cheating.
This often happens out of the blue or in surprising or unexpected ways. Like taking normal conversations and emails and accusing them of having bad intentions, no matter how innocent they are. They have a guilty conscious and it needs to manifest itself somewhere, somehow!
In addition to this, there are other clues that marriage therapists and family counselors use as well that might be helpful. These include: Has your partner suddenly become much more secretive? Has the partner's hours in which they do normal activities suddenly changed--particularly evening or after work activities, or business trips? Has your partner's cell phone use habits changed, like he's using it much more (who is he chatting with?) or a lot less (does he have a second phone?). Remember changes don't necessarily go in one direction, a change of more, or a change of less, could be an important signal.
If this is helpful for you, then it might be useful to get other advice from marriage therapists or family counselors, because there are a lot of experts out there with really helpful advice like this.
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