One of the greatest relationship challenges out there is when your partner loses his or her job.
It's hard not just for practical reasons--suddenly, you two need to get by on a lot less money!--but, above all, for emotional reasons at all. That's because losing your job often leads to a feeling of being lost, and that often turns into depression.
So what should you do when your partner loses his or her job? What are the best ways to deal with it and help him or her--and deal with the stress of the situation for you?
We dived into this subject and you'll be surprised at what we found--and to see what we learned from the experts, continue reading the article.
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There are two big emotional challenges with your partner losing their job: for your partner, and for you. Before we look at the solution to the eomtional toll it takes on you, let's first talk about the emotional challenges for your partner.
For your partner, when you ask non-experts for advice on how to deal with a partner losing his job, often the advice is the same cliches and generic observations, repeated: "communicate openly about the challenges," for example, is a common suggestion everyone gives.
But the problem with just suggestion is, to use the slang phrase, that's "easier said than done." When you or your partner are feeling down and emotional and even scared--will we make next month's rent?--it's hard to have a fully open and honest conversation.
But, talking to the experts and reading lots of articles, we found one consistent piece of advice that was unexpected--and is so good, it gives you something like a superpower in these difficult moments.
And that piece of advice is this:
Turn the 'problem' into an 'opportunity' by using that as a moment to make a change that you want your partner to make, but he-or-she had been putting off.
Let's unwrap that because it's an important point. In any relationship, and in life overall, there are lots of things you want to do. Maybe you've always wanted to move to a different state or country. Or take a vacation somewhere weird. Or learn an obscure hobby. But what happens all the time is life gets in the way. To use the old-fashioned line, "man plans and God laughs." Most humans never seem to find the time to pursue their real dreams and what they want.
But your partner losing his or her job is an opportunity for just that sort of moment. It's the universe messaging to you and your partner, that the moment is now to do That Big Thing that you two had been putting off.
And often, you may know what is best for your partner--but your partner may not realize how important it is to take that vacation or do what you want him-or-her to do.
The secret to success, in other words, is "turning lemons into lemonade." Your partner losing a job is a big fat lemon, and just with a bit of squeezing, it can be lemonade.
But there's one challenge here:
Often, your partner won't realize that this is the moment where he needs to do what you've been encouraging him to do and he needs that extra push.
Even though you may now that this is good advice and the right thing for him-or-her to do--he or she may not realize that. Often when people lose their job, they get sad and distracted so they don't make the changes they need to.
The best solution there, according to the professionals is this: that's the perfect moment to go to a relationship counselor or marriage therapist, to help make sure your partner makes the changes he-or-she needs to.
Sometimes, you need that extra push and that outside perspective--and this critical moment is precisely when it is needed the most.
So what to do? The best thing to do is to look for a professional marriage therapist or relationship counselor. You don't just need a professional to help your partner, but you need one at precisely the right moment.
But there's another challenge as well: the emotional toll that the stress of the situation takes on you, the partner. You need to be there to support your partner at this very moment. But with you focusing your energy on the stress of the situation yourself--that's just very distracting for you. And the good news: this is exactly what the relationship counselor helps you with, as well. Not only helping your partner, but helping you deal with it is a core role of the relationship counselor that you'll find to help you.
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